ginarey

Miss Vinny Hog

In Fun memories, Funny Episodes on March 10, 2010 at 4:08 am

This incident happened when I was about 6 years old and living in St Mary with my grand-aunt.  It was the ideal country life for a child – a nice river, lots of janga (crayfish for the non-Jamaicans), chickens to chase etc and we always bathed in the river.  So there I was peacefully minding my own business, trying to catch some janga after I had bathed when I noticed this HORRIBLE SMELL IN THE WATER.  Lo and behold the water was also getting very muddy (now remember, I had just bathed).  After I ran out of the river (I had to bathe again later of course) I discovered that the hog that belonged to our neighbor Miss Vinny was upstream from me WALLOWING IN THE RIVER.  I was furious – but what could I do?

A few days later though I had my own little revenge (somewhat).  It rained and the river “come down” (again for the non-Jamaicans – flooded).  There being rushed down the river with all the debris was the dratted hog.  I was so happy.  But it was short-lived as it landed on a rock and stayed there for the duration of the storm.  After the river went back to normal levels it simply waddled back into Miss Vinny’s yard.  Again, poor me , I could only make note of when it would wallow (it was a creature of habit you see) and made sure that I did not bathe in the river at that time.

Waxing & Screaming

In Fun memories, Funny Episodes on November 23, 2009 at 8:36 pm

This is not a childhood memory but a funny one nonetheless.  When I was living in Montego Bay, I had a business called “It’s a Personal Thing” offering services such as Massage therapy, waxing, reflexology, and facials.

I got a chance to do my first (and subsequently only) brazilian wax.  As I pulled off the hair, screaming could be heard emanating from my booth.  Finally when I finished, the client looked at me quite calmly and asked “why were you screaming?”

Learning to speak Gina

In Funny Episodes on May 1, 2009 at 4:22 pm

One of my girlfriends told me the other day that she now knows how to speak “Gina”.  Here is the conversation:

Self: Explain yourself.

Her: Well you know how you will start on one topic and then skip to five or six other topics before coming back to the first topic?

Self: Well I have been told that one cannot have uni-processor to have a conversation with me .

Her: Well I now understand you.

Self: Aren’t you scared?

Her: Why?

Self: Well for a linear mind to understand a rambling mind, that linear mind has to become a rambler too.  However most linear minds cannot handle such a transition and as such can lead to madness.  However since they have stopped giving out Milo at Bellevue, my only choice would be to leave you at a Tastee Patty or Juici Patty and pass by and give you a patty and Pepsi every now and again.

Her: (blank stare – then she quietly walks away shaking her head)

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